Elianna’s first smile was on July 12. She gave a great big grin to daddy while he played with her after a giant feeding! A few days later she smiled at Pops… Dad is worried that she’s going to make his work cut out for him since she’s a big fan of smiling at da men. 
I finally caught a (half) smile on camera:
I’ve managed a few small outings since Elianna’s birth. We’ve traveled into Kailua town for (decaf) espresso shakes, dr. appointments, breakfast, and a quick jaunt to youth group on the beach. After two weeks, and three or four days of beginning to feel “normal” (note - beginning), I decided it was time for the big showdown - a trip into TOWN.
For those of you who are unfamiliar with the island, “Town” refers to Honolulu and the surrounding urban area, while “Country” refers to the more rural parts of the island - mostly areas that are not “Town.”
We waited until Elianna was finished with her 10:00 feeding, and then packed up for Ala Moana mall, which is a gorgeous mall with plenty of lounge areas for nursing. One of the families in our youth group gave me a super generous gift certificate to Macys so that I could by some non-maternity clothes while I wait for my pre-pregnancy body to return (although I’m not sure it will… those hips had to spread!!!). Since none of my non-maternity shorts fit me, I was determined to find some cute shorts/skirts to wear in the interim!
Back to Ellie…
We nurse our usual 40 minutes and hop into the car. Elianna sleeps over the Pali Hwy and into town. She loves this car business! After parking, I decide it’s time for a treat so mommom, pops, and I head to Starbucks for an iced chai latte. All that walking and driving you see. Takes it right out of me! After a little rest, we head to Macys. Pops goes to stores of his liking while mommom and I stroll a sleeping Ellie up to the gal’s clothing.
And then the crying begins.
We check her diaper - clean and dry. We pick her up and cuddle (she’s a sucker for cuddling) - not working. I ask mom to check the time… yup. Sure is 1:00 pm and time for her next feeding. We head into the ladies room and the fancy lounge to nurse for 40 minutes. Mind you, she is actually eating for 40 minutes… this does not include the burping and diapering that often accompanies the feeding. Shortly after 2:00 pm we leave the ladie’s lounge with a very content Ellie. Mom and I head to the ladie’s department for a quick try-on and purchase. Elianna wakes up and cries her little heart out while I speed try on one piece of clothing. Mommom takes her and walks around the store while I make my purchase. We check her diaper - yup, poo #2 of the outing. Mom and I head out of the store to change her once again. Elianna stops crying for about ten minutes, when she decides to poop again. Diaper change #3.
Pops finds us again and we quickly make our way to the other two places we’d hope to go (Janie & Jack, and Barnes & Noble to pick up youth ministry books). While we browse through the outrageously cute baby clothes that Ellie doesn’t need, I begin leaking out of my bra on a gray shirt. Time to go. The world does not need to see giant wet boob. I rush to find the books for the evening’s youth event (not easy with a crying infant in a stroller) and Pops gets the car. He parks illegally for a moment and we cram stroller, car seat, and shopping bags into the car… hoping to head back in time to change for a senior graduation dinner at Buca di Beppos. It’s 3:20, and we are supposed to leave our house around 4 pm (30 minute drive)…
And then I get us lost.
Downtown Honolulu is no piece of cake. The streets are not cookie-cutter LA streets, and because I usually do the passengering, I forgot how to get onto the Pali.
We rush back home, after heading the wrong way on the freeway for a while, and Ellie needs to nurse again.
At 5 we reach the restaurant. The rest of party, situated in the Pope’s room, had been there for half an hour. And this is life with a baby… Elianna did mostly ok at the dinner, with a few poops and some good ole’ infant hollering that everyone at Buca got to enjoy.
The greatest thing in the world about our adventures?
Ellie slept for 7 hours. WOO HOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Elianna, at two weeks today, rolled over TWICE!
The first rollover occurred in her bassinet, while she was still in a swaddle. She started on one side of the bassinet (a rocking bassinet) with gravity against her. JD and I watched her work her way over from back to tummy, ending up on the other side.
The second time she was on our bed and rolled over from her back to her stomach and then to her back again ALL BY HERSELF!!! Um, hi. She’s TWO WEEKS old!!!
We caught the second rollover on our cell phone camera:
She might have her mama’s looks but she’s got daddy’s strength!
p.s. - Aubi (grandma Groves, JD’s mom) said one of her kids also rolled over by two weeks - it’s official, she’s a Groves!!!
JD put this together the day we came home from the hospital. I can’t believe it was two weeks ago!!!
mom feels good enough to get out of the house for a trip to the bakery!
someone’s hungry!!! this is her pug face! 
and mom thinks it’s pretty funny…
love this.
love this even more.
ellie loves sleeping on daddy’s chest
dad’s the burper!
It’s easier for me to post photos like this right now, because I’m having a bit of trouble with facebook. Enjoy the bundle of goodness!!!
I try to be an honest writer.
This is going to be an honest post.
… An honest reflection of the postpartum experience thus far. The books didn’t warn me about this part…
The first few days after giving birth are a mixture of euphoria and adrenaline. While JD slept (un)soundly in the pullout chair next to my hospital bed, I stayed awake excitedly listening to Elianna’s soft breathing and bubbling. Nurses came in and out, and I was tireless. If Ellie cried, I wasn’t bothered at all. The mothering instinct kicked in full force the second she wriggled out of me, and I was ready to take motherhood by storm.
Home from the hospital and adrenaline quickly died. It didn’t matter that my entire body ached and I felt exhausted, though, because Euphoria was still my best friend and I told JD I could have 800 babies. I literally began planning the next time we could give Elianna a brother or sister, because babies are JUST SO GREAT!!! Mom and dad tell me I’m doing amazing. I decide I can go on an outing four days after giving birth, so we went to a 4th of July BBQ for a few hours.
This is when adrenaline and euphoria died.
The next day was spent in bed with flu-like symptoms (thanks to breastfeeding and engorgement and all kinds of other goodies). Ellie was taken care of by her daddy and grandparents, only seeing me for meals. I slept, and Ellie Joy fussed due to the gas caused by the stool softeners given to me by the hospital (I am thankful for them though - who wants to worry about going poo after shooting a baby out of your body?).
After a day of fussiness I am determined to get Elianna on a routine. With the Baby Whisperer in hand, I print out three copies of Elianna’s schedule and post them around the house for everyone to see. I watch for signs of tiredness, hunger, gas, overstimulation, and everything else babies experience. This is the day that all euphoria, every last drop of it, goes away and my enemy the Overwhelmed One kicks in. At the end of the day I am more exhausted than before, because I have just realized that every three hours I must feed, change diaper, play (ok, stare), and put Ellie to sleep. And then the cycle begins again. And my life is over. The clock and I have staring contests. This does not bode well for my soul and it is decided in my head that Elianna will be our only child.
I wake up crying the next morning, because I just can’t bear to nurse Elianna any more. Too much pain. My whole body aches and I have a low-grade fever. I take Tylenol with Codine (prescribed to me in the hospital) and Motrin. The rest of the day is spent in bed. Our friend Robin, a lactation consultant, is called frantically. The moms confirm that Ellie has a good latch, but because of 40 minute feedings and some irregularity on my part, well, the bosoms are SORE. My day in bed is met with honest reflection and evaluation of our lifestyle and what is manageable for our baby girl. It is decided that I do not need to give Elianna a bath at 5:30 every day. Nor do I need to be overly concerned if she falls asleep in someone’s arms rather than her crib. And motrin works wonders. These realizations give me great relief and I sleep the day away.
Robin comes to check Ellie and I out. We’re doing well. A few complications to be aware of, but there are no infections. The evil being known as Mastitis has not come knocking at our door, yet. Life becomes less complicated in my mind and I decide to give motherhood another try. Two days into the epiphanies, and we’re doing much better.
I am still a little hermit. Not because I do not enjoy my friends and visitors, but because I am exhausted and the idea of visitors overwhelms me right now. I didn’t think it would take this long to recover. I believed I was immune from a fussy baby, sore breasts, achy body, and the “weepies,” as we’ll call them. I’m not sure why I believed this, but I did. Thought that if I did everything right, then everything would go well. It does my heart well to know this is not true… and that having the weepies is ok.
(By the way, my parents and JD are closely monitoring my weepies to ensure it is not postpartum depression - so I am in good hands).
In the midst of all this - the tiredness, emotional roller coasters, overwhelming thoughts of “Oh sweet mercy she’s here forever AND SHE WON’T STOP CRYING,” concern about my body’s recovery, and sometimes dreading the next three hours because our veracious eater is going to go at it again - in the midst of this, I have come to know a love and joy that is greater and more pure than anything else in the world. I am in awe of my daughter, her beautiful blue eyes, adorable chubby cheeks, reluctant wail, and silky black hair. She has turned me into a new woman, a better wife (parenting has bonded JD and I even more!), and a greater lover of Jesus.
Homegirl Ellie nurses for FORTY minutes every THREE hours which has officially turned my status as a human being into “Milkmaid.”
I walked up to the receptionist on the third floor with a white slip of paper in hand. It felt funny, so unnatural to be doing it this way. “May I help you?” The nurse at the front desk asked. I handed her the paper. “Oh you’re here to be induced,” she said. “Have a seat.” I nervously sat down next to mom, JD, and mommy G. We sat and chatted about the infomercial selling the microwave version of a skillet. The food looked gross and unhealthy, I thought. Please go into labor right now I pleaded with myself.
Almost two hours later I walked up to the front desk to ask if they wanted me to come back tomorrow. Maybe I will go into labor tonight… “Anne Groves your room is almost ready, just a few more moments.” I asked if I could take a walk. The nurse receptionist smiled and told me I could go walk over and see the babies in the nursery. JD and I began to take laps around the birthing floor. “This is so frustrating,” I told JD. “I don’t want to go into labor like this. We’ve been waiting for two hours and I never wanted to be induced anyway.” “I know sweetheart,” JD says. “I know.”
Mom came and found us in the hallway, my head buried in JD’s neck. “They’re ready for you honey.”
We walked into the labor/delivery room that was prepared for me. A nurse stood at a computer which was placed next to a monitor. “Hello! You’re here to be induced, right?” I nodded my head, still very disappointed that I had agreed to be induced. “What’s wrong?” the nurse asked, with a look of compassion and concern on her face. “I didn’t want to have to be induced, so I’m a little sad.” She looks at my chart and lets out a low whistle, “Nine days late I see. Well, it’s probably best this way. The placenta begins to act like a little old lady and stops working for the baby as well. Plus, you don’t want the baby to get too big.” I nodded. I knew she was right, and even though I’m sure I would have gone into labor on my own eventually, JD and I decided this was best. Better to eliminate risk to the baby.
“So you’re Bradly I see.” We nodded. She chuckled and told us there is a running joke that the Bradly people always end up with epidurals and C-sections. We assured her that we were flexible and should a complication arise, we would surrender our birth plan. She then explained that a lot of Bradly people only do the research online, and aren’t really prepared. We informed her that we had twelve weeks of classes.
We got into our room around noon. The nurse put in my IV at 2:30. 2:30 pm. The official time labor began. I didn’t feel anything more than the contractions I’d experienced for the past month or so. Mom and Mommy G sat in the chairs reading. JD and I watched a few episodes of Scrubs. At 4:30 the nurse increased the pitocin in my IV. Minutes later I asked the moms to leave. Contractions were coming strong and I knew it was time to get serious.
Pitocin is a funny medicine. It is basically oxytocin, which stimulates contractions and the birthing process. Rather than go through the early and first stages of labor, however, the pitocin sent me straight to late first stage labor, which is considered hard labor. Contractions came every two to three minutes and were remarkably strong. When the nurse told me I was only dilated three centimeters I wanted to cry. Half an hour later, I was writhing in pain and completely unable to relax. I kept commenting about an epidural, thinking how nice it would be to be completely numb. I asked the nurse about it, but she told me I could do it. My doctor came in a little while later and stretched me to four centimeters. She then broke my water. OW.
At that point I was ready to give up. I no longer wanted a natural birth and asked the nurse to please call for an epidural. All of the relaxing techniques that JD and I had practiced weren’t working, since I was thrown into hard labor without time to ease into the painful contractions. My nurse came to my side, held my hand, and coaxed me into deep breathing, encouraging me to relax. Moments later I found my focus. The anesthesiologist came in and I sent him away. “I can do it,” I said.
All of this took place around six pm.
At 7:30 pm a new nurse came in and I figured I could convince her that I needed an epidural. I was only five centimeters dilated and the contractions were sending me to the roof. I had been in the same position for a few hours now, and had resolved that this was going to be my only child. I asked the nurse for an epidural, but she just looked at me and said, “honey, I think you really want to do this naturally and so I’m going to do the best I can to help you. You are already over halfway there. You can do it.” From that point on, whenever I told JD I wanted an epidural (which happened a few more times), he encouraged me and relaxed me to the point where I looked like I was sleeping during my hardest contractions. We then decided it was time to get this baby going so we walked around and tried different labor positions. My mom and Virginia walked in for three contractions. They were coming one after another, almost stacked. I broke from my concentration for a moment to look at my mom, “This is the hardest thing I have ever done.” I told her. She nodded compassionately. She’d been there before. They left the room and later told me I was going into transition at that point.
At 6-7 centimeters dilated I found my first urge to push. I told the nurse I wanted to push and she told me I couldn’t. She checked me a few minutes later - 8 centimeters. The urge to push grew so strong that I had to concentrate very hard on my breathing in order to do what I was told. Panting away, I told the nurse there was no way I could not push. She called the doctor and checked me again. Ten centimeters. I went from 6-10 centimeters in about twenty minutes, and I literally thought I might explode.
Pushing began moments before my doctor arrived. What a relief to push through contractions! Intense burning became the newest sensation as I realized the baby’s head was close to crowning. The doctor arrived and I was crowning. She told me to push through the pain, that my baby would be here soon. A couple pushes later, Elianna came wriggling out of my body. I pushed for less than twenty minutes, praise God.
8 lbs. 6 ozs… she is certainly not a petite girl! All the doctors and nurses were in awe of her size - the doctor even said to Ellie when she came out, “your mom is an amazing woman,” in reference to me pushing out our little beast child
Here are some pictures of Elianna’s birth:
JD cuts the cord.
our new family
the birth team
gorgeous girl
mom and daughter resting after all that hard work
daddy’s little girl
home from the hospital and sleeping soundly!!!!
 | Erika on Adventures in Town… |
 | Jules on Adventures in Town… |
 | shay on Ellie |
 | Monica on Groves girl indeed… |
| Erika on Groves girl indeed… |
